There have been a lot of these since Abi was born. A lot, a lot. I’d even go as far as to say that the bad days, the hard ones outweigh the good ones 3:1.
We’ve had the solid weeks of crying and constant holding before we began giving her Zantac and miraculously things got better. For two weeks. Almost exactly 14 days after she started on Zantac the bad days began again. No, they’re not as bad nor as frequently but they’re still not easy. What do I mean by “not easy”?
Not easy is her sleeping for a maximum of half and hour at a time and no more than 3 times a day and that’s assuming you can get her to sleep at all. When she’s awake she whines constantly because she’s tired. Then there’s Erin who’s three, do I really need to say more? She cries at the drop of a hat, literally. Yesterday we walked to the post office and her hat fell off, she cried broken hearted sobs until I picked it up and put it back on.
Like I said, we do have some good days. These days are fantastic. She’s happy, she goes to bed without a fight and then she sleeps for almost three hours at a time. In the beginning when we’d have these days I’d be optimistic that this was the start of something good. It wasn’t. Now, when we have our rare good day what I find myself thinking is that tomorrow will be another bad one because it often is.
It’s exhausting both physically and mentally and in all honesty I don’t know how many hard days I’ve got left in me.
