It was Abi’s birthday yesterday. She’s one, already.
In a lot of ways the past twelve months have been incredibly long and full–not necessarily full of good things either–but in a lot of other ways the past year has passed in a flash. There are so many little things I hope to never forget and others that I definitely wont, here are just a few.
- The way her feet curled upwards so that she could nearly touch her shins with her toes.
- That first night that she spent with me (after all the good drugs had worn off) nestled in the crook of my arm with her tiny eyes gently closed.
- I couldn’t believe how little she was. I knew the numbers, but a 2kg baby seemed bigger in my head.
- How little she looked like Erin.
- They way she wouldn’t sleep during those first three months unless I held her.
- The crying. Oh my god the crying that would not stop.
- Her hair! There’s just so much of it! I’m resisting getting it cut but it’s coming because of how ratty it is at the back.
- How, on very rare occasions, she’d fall asleep during nappy off time and sleep soundly until she weed.
- The way her eyes light up when Erin comes home.
- How serious she looks when she talks to you in baby language.
There are so many other things I look back at and think fondly of–even the way you clung to me in those first three months when, at the time, I thought I was going to loose my mind. Now I’m grateful for them. It’s something I missed out on with Erin, this tiny bundle nestled against my chest. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so needed. It was hard at the time–incredibly so–but now it’s something that we’ve shared that I’ve never had with another being.
In some ways I want the world to stop, just to let me breathe and take everything in, but in others I can’t wait to see what the next year will bring.
Happy birthday Abi, mama loves you very much.
